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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25263892">leia and vader have a talk</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianlevi/pseuds/leiaslove'>leiaslove (lesbianlevi)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, This is Bad, as of january 2021 i don’t like it, here we go again, i’m a better writer now i swear, luke is mentioned several times but isn’t in anything, so am I, this is not a good reflection of my writing, vader is tired</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:07:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,113</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25263892</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianlevi/pseuds/leiaslove</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“i’m not here to forgive you. but... i understand you, a bit.”</p><p> </p><p>or: vader and leia chat. not canon compliant at all.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Leia Organa &amp; Anakin Skywalker, Leia Organa &amp; Darth Vader, Leia Organa &amp; Luke Skywalker, Luke Skywalker &amp; Darth Vader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>53</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>leia and vader have a talk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>essentially:<br/>vader makes it off the death star, and isn’t in the suit anymore. constructive criticism is ABSOLUTELY appreciated just pls be nice lmao, enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>he was always surprised at how big the cell was, spending so much time with his eyes shut. </p><p>vader-was he vader, now, or was he anakin? the suit was gone, the mask was gone, the face of vader was burned to ashes and scattered to the winds-luke has assured him of that. but the face he wore was not that of anakin skywalker, either.</p><p>he was someone in between. </p><p>his son-luke skywalker, his child, his son-called him anakin, when he wasn’t calling him father. told the world that anakin skywalker, his father, anakin skywalker, did not deserve to be executed, he could sit in a cell until the end of time but he deserved to live.</p><p>his daughter, leia organa-and wasn’t that a thought, that the backtalking spitfire-filled princess was his daughter (and wouldn’t she kill him if she heard him calling he that) had spat out darth vader as though the name was covered in poison-and even though she hadn’t actively aided in the effort to get him to die, she hadn’t hidden her support for it either.</p><p>his children-twins, he thought, and if he could have smiled, had been willing to, he would have. padmé had wanted a boy-a little boy who looked just like him, and even through his damaged eyes he could see the resemblance. same eyes-same hair-he got his height from his mother, and his personality, too, but his talents had come from his father. he could still remember sitting on the couch thinking of names-padmé, who insisted it was a boy, she told him, was thinking of luke, and he had smiled and told her any boy name was fine because he knew it was a girl. </p><p>and they got both.</p><p>leia had gotten her fire from him, he knew-her personality was all anakin skywalker, and she’d gotten named by him as well. she looked identical to her mother, however-the same curly brown hair and sparkling brown eyes, but where padmé’s had filled with kindness and love, leia’s sparked with passion and determination-the kind of look her mother only got once in a blue moon. she was shorter than her brother and was a born politician; he had heard her speaking in the senate. </p><p>the perfect mix of both of them. both twins-both embodying everything good both anakin and padmé had to offer. </p><p>anakin-vader opened his eyes and looked once more at the cell he was in. the walls were red-not harsh, like blood, but softer, more pink. the floor was black. the bed was thin and firm and bare. </p><p>anakin-vader looked around at everything and wondered, once again, why he was here.</p><p>he could get out if he wanted to, he knew-his suit was gone, but his prosthetics weren’t, and though he still needed some help breathing it wasn’t life threatening. he could break out of the cell if he truly tried. he could kill everyone who stood in his path and go off and reclaim the galaxy as his own-</p><p>why, then, was he here in a cell?</p><p>vader-he was vader, he decided. at least right now. he was the criminal who was locked behind bars and even though he could get out wasn’t going to. </p><p>it was easier to be vader, wasn’t it? easier to let the anger and hate live, then try to work through it all and fight it? easier to live as the black menace than the war hero. </p><p>he was weak, wasn’t he. but he couldn’t find it in himself to really care.</p><p>he spent most of his days meditating now. it was easier to lose himself in the force than stay awake and dwell on his imminent failures as a being, and he had done enough of that as vader-in-the-suit. luke came to visit him more often then not, but he was away somewhere and had been for awhile, so meditation had become the norm. </p><p>the force willingly allowed him in. the rebels had tried to put a force-inhibition collar on him, but he had fought it long enough to snap the thing in half, and as a result they didn’t attempt to put one on again. they were afraid, he knew; afraid he would break down the walls of his cell and release all of his rage on those who had imprisoned him.</p><p>but as the days went along, the idea grew far less appealing. certainly he could go and waste all of his energy, and he’d be free, but what was the point? he was just as content sitting in a cell as he was living a life in the outside world, maybe even more so. here, at least, he didn’t have to put up with anyone except the visits from luke and the guards who would bring him food. </p><p>it was relieving, not having to deal with anyone. no annoying moffs, no incapable captains, no idiotic admirals. despite the lack of freedom to do what he chose, it was still.. freeing, in a sense, to not have to do anything but sit in a room and think all day. </p><p>vader pulled the force up and around him, sinking deeper. if anyone were to interrupt them-even luke, but he couldn’t sense his son’s presence anywhere on the planet-it had better be for a good reason. </p><p>just as the thought came to his mind, the sound of the door opening broke the silence, and vader internally sighed, cracking open his eyes and preparing to shoot whoever had interrupted him with a sharp glare.</p><p>that is-until he saw who had walked in, and his narrowed eyes widened in surprise.</p><p>vader, unlike anakin, had learned how to control his facial expressions, despite them being hidden behind a mask. however, he could not contain his surprise at princess leia organa standing uncomfortably in his cell.</p><p>leia.. organa.. his daughter. </p><p>his daughter, he was reminded abruptly, that wanted him dead.</p><p>she had opened up her mouth to speak, but vader cut her off. “if you’ve come in here to kill me, i suppose you’d better get it over with.”</p><p>the princess looked surprised he had spoken first, but recovered quickly. “no. even if i wanted to, i couldn’t do that to luke.”</p><p>“wanted to?” vader tilted his chin so he was looking up at her. “what, may i ask, changed?”</p><p>“luke did,” she fired back, and vader was surprised at exactly how much she was like him. they had the same fire-well, anakin and leia did. </p><p>he wasn’t sure who he was. </p><p>“you must really love him, then, if you’re willing to set aside your hatred of me,” he responded. his tone was dry-whether on purpose, he wasn’t sure.</p><p>leia did not like that, apparently, as she stood up straighter. “i do love him, very much. but let me warn you, just because i love him does not mean i won’t shoot you through the head before you blink.”</p><p>vader raised his eyebrows. “confident, are we?”</p><p>leia’s eyes sharpened. “for good reason.”</p><p>this was getting old. they could go back and forth like this all day-she would shoot, he would block it, something else would happen, and she would leave. “why are you here?”</p><p>she stared at him for a moment, and he stared right back. after a moment, she sighed heavily and broke off it off. </p><p>this was not the fierce headed princess leia he had seen on the senate floor. this was not the confident backtalking girl he had met on the tantive iv-this was not, even, the girl he had held back as her planet was blown up in front of her eyes.</p><p>this was not princess leia, he decided. so who was she?</p><p>she was uncomfortable, whoever she was, standing in here-she was looking for words. he sat silently and patiently. </p><p>“listen.” </p><p>“listening,” vader responded, and she glared sharply at him. </p><p>“i’m not coming in here to forgive you. i’m making that clear right now.”</p><p>vader remained looking at her. he, of course, hadn’t expected this at all-her forgiveness was a thought he’d never let himself entertain. he knew he didn’t deserve it. </p><p>“i’m not coming into here to forgive you,” she said, and swallowed heavily. “i’m never going to forgive you for what you did. you don’t deserve luke’s forgiveness and you’re never getting mine, is that clear?”</p><p>it stung. he’d braced himself for the blow-he knew she was never going to forgive him, he hadn’t expected her to-but hearing the words from his own daughter that he didn’t deserve luke’s forgiveness hurt. it was true, and it hurt. </p><p>“i understand this,” vader responded, forcing down the burn and keeping his face expressionless. “if you’re not hear for that, then why are you in here?”</p><p>“in part because luke told me i needed to face this, and i wanted to do it when he wasn’t around.” she came in a bit closer. “i’m not going to forgive you-“ and he opened his mouth, ready to snap at her to get on with the point because she’d mentioned that three times already-“but i... i understand you, i guess. you did horrible things. you did horrible things but-but luke told me things, he told me how it happened-and i understand, sort of.”</p><p>in hindsight, mulling it over for hours after she had left, vader realized he hadn’t had any idea of what she was going to say when she opened her mouth. but what she had said was the complete opposite of whatever faint idea was in his mind.</p><p>she... understood?</p><p>“you understand.”</p><p>“for love, wasn’t it?” she kept her eyes on his. “you fell.. for love.”</p><p>her voice had gotten much quieter. </p><p>vader said nothing, watching her. </p><p>“anyways. yes. i do not forgive you or attempt to condone your actions by this statement at all-“ she sounded like padmé, that was padme’s voice-leia had so much anakin in her, but her mother shown through as well. she cleared her throat. “but i understand a bit better why it happened. because when luke told me...” her voice faded off.</p><p>he hadn’t spoken in a long moment, vader realized. “when luke told you?”</p><p>leia organa was a well practiced senator-her movements did not change, nor did her facial expression, when he spoke. “i could see myself maybe doing the same thing.”</p><p>no, vader thought right away, no she wouldn’t. she had too much padmé in her-and wasn’t that the difference between the two, that anakin would throw away the universe to save the ones he loved, and padmé never knew when to stop throwing away what she loved for the greater good. that was the one thing they could never agree on-because hadn’t he? vader betrayed the republic, the jedi, everything he stood for to try and save her. and marrying him was the one time padmé had allowed herself to get something in exchange for everything she’d given to the galaxy.</p><p>she wouldn’t turn like he did. would she? he had stood and watched as she let her entire world get blown up just to give the rebellion a fighting chance. she had given up practically everyone she had loved for the cause. no, she wouldn’t throw away the world to save her love. </p><p>but, vader thought, he didn’t really know her, did he? there was padmé in her, and there was himself. and there was something else, too, something unique to even him-the fierce firey selflessness of leia organa. something he hadn’t entirely given her-something padmé hadn’t either.</p><p>he doubted he would ever know what it was.</p><p>“anyway,” said leia, and she moved back towards the door, “i don’t forgive you. i will never. you are not my father-bail organa is my father. i am leia organa. i will stay that way until i die. but-well, yeah.” and on that, she turned and left the room, and he heard the click that meant whatever feeble lock they’d put on his door was back in place.</p><p>he stared at the door, remained staring at it long after she had left. </p><p>her ending note was cruel-he deserved it, deserved every biting remark she’d ever thrown at him-but despite everything, he couldn’t help but feel the smallest bit of happiness. because leia organa had come into his cell-because his daughter stood and spoke to him and didn’t shoot him and there was maybe, just the smallest chance, he would get to know that unknown part of her.</p><p>he wasn’t counting on it, anakin insisted to himself as he sunk back into meditation. he was not counting on her ever coming back. but even if there was the smallest chance that she would-he could be the smallest bit happy about it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i’ve been working on this for awhile (like 3 days) and i’m kinda sad it’s done now lmao. this was really enjoyable to write and i hope you liked reading it!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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